I am SO Ready..
Ready to start feeling that happiness and joy that comes from knowing you're at peace.
~With yourself...
~With your life..
~With your soul..
Honestly, I've been ready for awhile. It's just that life has happened, and I put "me" on hold.
And that's ok.
I'm a mom and a wife, and I WANT to take care of my family.
But I'm also Nicole.
There comes a breaking point in every womans life when she... well, breaks.
Maybe break is too strong.
It's more like a {crack}.
And then there comes that *}magical{* day when enough is enough.
The day when you say, "I'm tired of feeling empty, sad, shameful, guilty, STUCK."
It's not a fun feeling.
Waking up and thinking,"This day will either drag or go too fast."
It's the dreaded DINNER TIME CRUNCH!
{I hate this time}
Because, really, I don't plan ahead. I've tried, but I never know how many people are going to be at my home. Anywhere from 4-10.
{No bueno}
It's the constant thought that.."If I could just get this cleaned...I'd have more time...."
{so backwards}
It's the ME TIME, which ends up being until the wee hours of the next day.
Soooo..Yeah.
{Not much sleep}
Vicious circle.
Sucks.
But then I came across this....
Have you ever had a thought...
Annnnddd....
had that very thought pop up...
~LITERALLY~
*
{EvErY wHeRe}
*
*
Well that's what happened.
I'm SO glad it did.
I actually asked God to give me a sign if this was a good thing to go through with.
And then I realized...{ummm....}
Yeah.
It is.
So I signed up.
I'm ready to...
~*find my peace
~*to be content in this season of life
~*to reignite my creative passions
~*to be a calming, strong{ PARENT} to my children
~*to be the wife my husband married 5 years ago
~*I want to be filled with joy and happiness
You are not your mistakes...You are not your pain
You are meant to be loved.
"Melody Ross..
Brave Girls Club"
This is a 6 week art and journaling online class that starts February 21st.
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Here's a link to testimonials from changed souls..
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Just hop around the website and drink it in.
This is the beginning of my journey.
I'm going to make my best effort to keep up on blogging about this new path..
I want to feel free..
To be released from the burden of guilt and shame I've been collecting.
I'm ready to find my true "authentic" self.
Lord, please guide me on this journey. I'm scared and grasping at a rapidly fraying rope, and I know that's not your plan for me. I know because you blessed me with those beautiful babies. So Lord, please bless this journey. I want to be joyful, and peaceful, and I so desprately want to feel {WHOLE} in my heart of hearts again. I pray to find contentment in this season of my life. To enjoy the only year my son will be 3 and say, "You're pretty" when I first wake up in the morning. To soak in the way my daughter says "I yuv you" for these few short months. To hold my husband and enjoy THIS life, and THIS year, as only it can be, right now. I can't do it without you Lord.
I don't want to.
Amen
~{*Nicole*}~
